I'm confused. And lost. Sometimes I'm lost in my thoughts; sometimes I'm lost in my life. The questions I ask over and over receive the same anticipated answers.
Now I stop before I finish asking.
It's like... taking a picture of a blade of grass.
The blade is green. I know that. It's plainly shown in the photo. Yet, I keep rechecking the picture wondering if maybe there's a little purple.
Or a tinge of orange.
Or some color other than green.
Any other color.
But it's not. And I know that.
I'll still keep checking, though. Until the colors fade. Or I take another picture...
Today I was feeling frisky. So frisky, in fact, that I frisked myself right over to Borders and read some of a book that I never bought. Then, after reading the book for a while, I made my way to the bathroom. Most bathrooms (if not all) have a sign informing employees that they must wash their hands after each bathroom visit. I hate germs and bacteria and whenever I see these signs, I'm appalled that the general public is not too commanded to shine their grime. <-- (Ha, whatever that means.) (P.S. You know what it means.) Because I was feeling particularly frisky on this breezy Monday morning, I decided to take action. To fight for what I believe in.
Boldly.
And anonymously.
Need proof?
Check it out:
For those of you who have poor vision:
If that's not frisky, bold, and anonymous, I don't know what is.
Also, the dog on this dog food bag seems to be cross-eyed.
I'm glad so many big companies are reaching out to a different public.
So my mom bought me this bag of Dove Silky Smooth Dark Chocolate (which translates into Amazingly Delicious) for those special times, when someone like me needs chocolate. Right now was one of those times so naturally I had some. Now, this bag's wrappers happen to contain inspirational messages which I always read and rarely like. A few moments ago, I found the most irritating one yet. Would you like to know what it said? (You swiftly reply with an enthusiastic "Yes!")
It said,
"Always follow you heart, it is never wrong."
Is that bogus or what?? Who even sent that in? The Fairy Swan Princess or something? Maybe she doesn't know, but people don't actually break out into random song and dance while you're walking down the street. Scenes like that only happen in movies. Beliefs like the one quoted above are also only supported in movies. I can only imagine what type of life this person lives. All I have left to say is, "The heart is more treacherous than anything else and is desperate. Who can know it?" -Jeremiah 17:9
That's all I got for today. Sorry my writing seems to be waning. I'm sure my wit will return in no time.
I didn't do much today. Then I was in a bad mood, partly because I realized that I did less than I'd thought I had. I'd intended on taking pictures because the flowers and blossoming trees are just so beautiful, but almost didn't due to my foul mood. But I fought it! And went for a stroll with Blue around the yard. I don't know what I'm doing when I take these pictures and I don't expect you to comment on them, but I haven't written in awhile and I'm not in the mood to be funny so I'm putting them on here. Well, here they are.
Today I stopped at a green light. Then I got a haircut. After arriving an hour early. Later I made a wrong turn. Even though I knew where I was. And was using a GPS.
Moral of Today: I'm just as challenged today as I was yesterday. And everyday before then.
Hello. Right now, I would like to make a shout-out; a shout-out to Benjamin Franklin, John Hadley, and all the rest of those geniuses who came up with that precious thing we call air conditioning. Thank you sirs. You've done us good.
Next, I would also like to make a complaint against first of all Adam, who doomed us to imperfection, and then all the others who have (involuntarily) remained imperfect. Ok, that's not fair, but this isn't either! I'm sorry. Let me explain.
The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and not a brown blade of grass sullied my sight. That last part was a lie. Anyway, it was really hot. And I mean really hot. To my dismay, I didn't check the weather that morning (or ever) and left my house wearing a sweater and a thick skirt. Soon, it was 82 degrees out and I was melting. Melting fast. Every window that will go down (which makes 3) was down and still no relief. Suddenly, the words spoken by Dear Ben (after performing an experiment with the principle of evaporation) rang like a church bell on Sunday morning within my mind: "From this experiment, one may see the possibility of freezing a man to death on a warm summer's day".
Yes, those words reverberated in my mind verbatim so don't question it.
ON WE GO...
And that's when I knew that there was some good left in the world. I looked that sun (almost) straight in it's radioactive core and said: Not today, Sun. Not today. And while maintaining eye-core contact, I turned that temperature dial on the dash to the blue section representing cold and I turned that other dial for intensity to high, nearly blowing that gaseous ball straight out of the solar system. I threw my head back and laughed a menacing life when all of a sudden...
What on earth?! The air coming out of here is warm? THE AIR COMING OUT OF THE VENT IS WARM!!!
Suddenly, it was if the suns rays reached into my car and wrapped themselves around me like bacon around a scallop, singeing me to the bone. Just as quickly as they arrived, they disappeared leaving me hot, agitated, and defeated.
But only for now.
Yes, you may have won the battle, Sun, but you haven't won the war.
So that's the story. And if you are wondering what the link is between lack of AC and Adam and imperfection, here it is: If Adam hadn't sinned, we wouldn't be imperfect, and cars wouldn't break down and I would have AC in my car. I'm sorry to all of you who I've laughed at for not having AC. I wouldn't have laughed if I knew I didn't have it either.
Well. This should be a great summer full of attractively wind blown hair and 3rd degree burns. Can't wait! :D
Ahaha! I started writing this awhile ago, but never finished. I just read it today and thought it was funny, though incomplete so I'm posting it.
Annnnnnnnnnd... POSTED.
There are so many things I could have written since I last wrote here. Funny things. But I didn't have time and now it's too late. Maybe not, we'll see.
Today I decided to clean my fish tank. It's always risky business. If you're not careful, someone can lose an eye. Someone almost did lose an eye. But that's a story for another day. My dear Buffalo Soldier (for you who don't know- he's my fish) has mellowed out in his old age. Perhaps the death of Low Rider made him realize that life is too short to be anxious about things. He even seems to have accepted the various ailments that plague him.
Is it just me or when you see a "No Trespassing" sign do you, too have a nearly overwhelming desire to trespass? What is it that makes it so tempting? Is it because we live in an imperfect world where we have sinful tendencies and the thought of doing something we shouldn't provides a strange sense of pleasure? Perhaps it's an uncanny form of subliminal messaging. Or is it maybe because humans are just naturally curious?
Ya know what I think? I think it goes a little something like this: First off, there are a group of people that I'll call "they." They walk around the towns They inhabit searching for the most beautiful landscapes. After finding an exceptionally beautiful spot, They pull out their pads and pens and jot down what They individually found most appealing. When the scenery searching is complete, They congregate around a large chalk board and make a chart, there recording each location and how many found it "exceptionally beautiful" on a scale of 1-10. A list is printed out of the 100 highest ranking locations. "No Trespassing" signs are handed out to previously formed groups and They are sent on Their way to post them in these highest ranking areas. They slyly post these forbidding signs on the most unattractive objects that just happen to overlook the favored area. They do this in expectation of the day when unsuspecting do-gooders (like me) stumble upon such an adventure-inspiring landscape only to come face-to-face with a "No Trespassing" sign that translates simply to "Utter Rejection." It's all just a ploy.
**Dusts hands off** And so kids, that's how it happens.
MOVING ON...
What's so bad about trespassing anyhow? Even claiming to have gone trespassing sounds alluring. "Hey, what'd you do today?" "Oh, I went trespassing. It was really awesome." "Wow, sounds hardcore." It also sounds like a form of peer pressure: "So are you gonna come trespassing with us today?" "No, I can't." "Why? Everyone's doing it."
TRESPASSING If you're not in, you're out.
(Pretty clever, eh? I thought of it myself.)
All right, all right. I understand why trespassing is wrong, but I enjoyed ranting and raving despite that small detail.
So. You're wondering what else I have to rant and rave about, aren't you? I just know you are. To answer your unspoken question, nothing because I forgot a primary part of my material for the next sequence. Perhaps I will remember tomorrow. Perhaps I will write tomorrow. Perhaps I will write about what I remembered tomorrow.
Proof that I act my silliest when I'm with people I'm most comfortable with: Proof that I'm incapable of recording a video successfully: Proof that I sometimes can't stop laughing: Proof that alpaca are completely absurd: Proof that....
Just watch the video.
You might not think it's funny, but I did!
(There are some pictures, too! They're not very good, but I wanted to share them anyway. They're just norrrmal.)
(Josh said this one looked like it's ready for Mardi Gras- check out the tassels!)
I am still dealing with the repercussions of Mondays lively events. That day had such potential, but any and all expectations came crashing down when I went on my computer only to discover that most of my albums had completely disappeared. GOOD TIMES. Really, they're just... gone. It wasn't/ isn't a lot of fun to deal with. I'm still trying to find a program that will restore lost files. So far, I mostly get pictures that were viewed on web pages. Yeah... bummer. I just realized that no one really cares and I don't even really care to share sooooo I'm just gonna stop. Best idea of the day... besides when I told Heather to stop talking... Ha! :P Jayyykayyy!
Bleh. Tomorrow better be good! I have faith. Strong faith.
Oh. So goats have rectangular pupils, along with llamas, sheep, alpaca, and octopus. I saw an alpaca with blue eyes on Wednesday. It was very strange.
It looked nothing like that. Those aren't even real.
But it did look like this:
WEIRD.
Oh, and there is a possibility that each of your eyes sees different shades of color. Mine do.
Yesterday was a great day. An excellent day, in fact. My pal Blue and I went for a walk. I packed a little bag of essentials AKA water and my camera- it made for an amazing time. Anywho, I'm not in the mood to be witty; I just want to share some of my day.
Twas a pleasant March 6, 2010 day. The sun was shining, there was a slight breeze, and budding flowers peaked their noses through the thawing earth. Ok, I'll stop. Well, it was like that, but I'll stop speaking that way. It was a really beautiful day. I always get so excited for those sunny days after the long months of winter. I also wanted to do some form of exercise and didn't feel like going on the treadmill. That walk was virtually screaming 'take me!' So do you know what I did? I took it. Sometimes you just have to take advantage of things and boy did I take advantage. It was a rather exhilarating (and sometimes life-threatening) experience. Every moment was worth it. (In case you didn't realize, I live life on the edge.)
My first EXTRAORDINARY experience happened to be with some cows. Randall cows, in fact. This rare breed originates in Vermont- I knew you were dying to know. They're very interesting looking (see pictures below). Anyhow, I traversed some hills and fought through thorn bushes until I finally made it to my destination. Meanwhile, Blue was leashed to a branch so he wouldn't brawl with the cows. He's very dangerous with his half jaw. You gotta watch out.
I say the dumbest things.
COMMENCING...
So as I walked over to the cows, one with horns came over. Only later on did it register that a cow with horns is a bull. You can review the experience below (please ignore my stupidity):
It was all fun and games until he started following me... then surpassed me to observe my dog. That's when I got sort of nervous and pretty much ran through the thorns to get to Blue. Call me Charley Skedaddle... Anyone? Anyone?? Sigh.
After that little escapade, we trekked on alternately searching for animal scents and photo worthy views. I'd say we received good results. Would you like to see? Of course you would. Here!
Later on I took some wildly attractive pictures that I might as well share, too:
Finally, we opted for taking pictures of our feet because everything else was really ugly.
I hate today. Today is a bad day. I peed on myself, my hairline has begun rapidly receding, and all of the organs inside of my stomach exploded.
In a world where my life is as bad as I'm making it out to be, that happened. But. I don't live in that world. In actuality, I spilled water on the front of my skirt, my hairline will hopefully hold off receding for 2 more years, and as far as I know, all of my major organs are still intact. I still hate life today.
And maybe even tomorrow.
Saturday was a really good day.
Too bad today isn't Saturday.
By the way, exaggeration really isn't as overrated as you might think.
Ugh. I've had enough of you. Have a picture and be gone!
For the first time in recorded history, meteorologists have made an accurate weather prediction for the little town I call home. It's about time. Maybe I'm being too harsh. Does anyone ever think about these meteorologists? I mean, we don't really know who they are. Those people we listen to- they're just weather reporters. Sure, some of them might be professional meteorologists, but I'd bet a whole lot of them are just people who can read well and know where to insert the proper inflection. Maybe these faceless meteorologists are the underdog. And maybe these weather reporters have all the power who get their forecasts from fortune cookies.
But probably not. An interesting thought nonetheless.
Moving on...
Today I discovered fur seals. That's a lie. Let me rephrase that. Today I learned of fur seals. Charming little things. Unlike other adult seals, they have fur. ALLLLLLLL THE TIIIIIIIIIME. It doesn't get much better than that. I mean who doesn't want a furry coat 24-7?? (Mumbled answer: Probably most women.)Anyway, they're awesome (fur seals, not furry women) so I wanted to share some pictures of them:
Have you missed me? Unless my one and only post was the one and only thing you've ever read, I doubt it left you craving more. Either way, I'm back whether you like it or not. What do I care anyway? I'm writing to myself, after all.
This whole blog thing is actually quite relishing. Just without the condiments. I like the freedom to say whatever I want. However I want. To whoever I want. Whenever I want. Although posts like this make me wish I wasn't permitted to be so liberal. I'm only embarrassing myself. Well, before I discredit myself any further, I'll casually
fade
into
the
background,
hoping you'll forget I was ever here at all..........
(Oh, and here are some pictures. Simple, but mine.)
A friend of mine created a blog a few months ago and in all honesty, I was embarrassed for him. The idea of welcoming complete strangers to read and comment on thoughts, ideas, and whatever else I prefer to keep private, seemed ridiculous. As I read his first post, I kept thinking, "You want EVERYONE to be able to see this?? Why would you want EVERYONE to be able to see this?!" I've come to realize, though, that's it's not about that. It's about sharing your ideals and making yourself known as an individual. Taking your natural born right of freedom of speech and using it to the full. Making your mark on the world post by post!
Okay, that's total trash. But you should have known- this is the garbage can, after all.
Seriously, though, I started drawing again and thought it'd be nice to have somewhere to put the pictures. I also enjoy writing and commentary is supported here. It also occurred to me that for the most part, people couldn't care less that you have a blog or about what it says so no one's going to read it anyway. All of that translated to me as: GO FOR IT.
And that brings us here today.
Until a later tomorrow...
Oscar.
(Above is the picture that inspired the name of this blog. I know, it's bad, but I owe it some sort of recognition in return for it's kind deed.)
